tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362734998914207323.post1970296886358803136..comments2010-06-03T23:07:07.354-07:00Comments on In Words and Deeds: Defusing the A-nger BombAphrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07273343436519301257noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4362734998914207323.post-31456654817589425592010-03-07T19:44:05.080-08:002010-03-07T19:44:05.080-08:00Oh, this is painful to write. I wish I could comme...Oh, this is painful to write. I wish I could comment anon, but I'll be brave and write this anyway. Anger. I'm recovering from my shocked memories I'd blocked from childhood.<br /><br />I found my hand twitch to slap and was horrified that this was my knee-jerk reaction. Here I am this person who is yearning with every fiber of my being to create a peaceful world and when confronted with a 3yo working through some big emotions, I'm transformed back into a powerless child with an angry, towering adult above me. I almost grabbed my car keys and left my kids for good, thinking they were better off without me. It was so painful to feel this way about my more-precious-than-my-own-life children. Fortunately, I started seeing a therapist for ppd and while I still have that initial reaction, I know where it comes from and can remember that I am no longer that powerless child. I can change these generations of familial patterns for my kids. They deserve a mom who can be her imperfect best because that is how I can truly love them.Zoie @ TouchstoneZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688056216105729821noreply@blogger.com